I'm not sure if it was the lack of sleep or the extreme length of time that it took us to get Baby B, but in the first few weeks of having him, it felt surreal. I mean, to the point that I would look at him and think, "Whose baby is that?" He didn't feel like my baby. I guess it could even have been the fact that newborns don't do much except sleep and eat. They don't really show affection or recognition or emotion at all. They really could be anyone's baby, and they don't know you from Adam.
All that has changed recently, though. Baby B is finally my baby. He laughs when I tickle his face with my hair. He stops crying when I pick him up and comfort him. We know each other...and I love watching him grow. At times, I pick him up from the changing table, where he has been making faces at me and telling me jokes (I imagine), and I just hold him. I wrap my arms all the way around him, nuzzle his fuzzy little head, and tell him how much I love him. We have bonded.